Cathan Aiko Kabrelian (1967-2024) went to sleep on Monday, December 30th, 2024 never to arise again, another soul taken by COVID. Our community senses her loss deeply. She and several of our teachers have practiced in the Zen tradition and are familiar with the Evening Gatha, which is inscribed on a sounding board in temples that calls practitioners to meditation. The gatha reminds us that “time passes swiftly” and we are practicing to awaken to what really matters in this precious and limited lifetime. Cathan understood this and it came through in her compassionate way of teaching and relating. We will maintain this remembrance of Cathan through 2025 and we welcome you to add your favorite memories of her in the comments.

People are like precious jewels, but we usually only understand these riches in flashes and glints. During important rituals and major life events like weddings, christenings, retirements, and memorials, many facets of the wonder of our being are revealed all at once, reflected through the shared experiences of friends, family, clients, and colleagues who come to celebrate, bear witness, pay their respects, or say goodbye. We’d like to share some of the facets of Cathan that were reflected through the MAM community.

Our teacher, friend and colleague is already missed dearly, but she may be best remembered for her mile-wide smile, joyful laugh, and concern for the “metness” of our needs. We knew her as a seasoned and skilled educator, our resident communication expert and one of our beloved “creative types”, full of music and poetry. Many of us saw the big place in her heart she held for young people and her skillful ways with youth – maybe this was related to the childlike joy and wonder that was alive inside her and that she often expressed when she was doing what she loved.

Cathan was a precious jewel to us. Her years of experience as a trauma-trained dyslexia specialist, teacher across subjects and grades, and professional musician, made her work at MAM as a certified mindfulness instructor especially skillful and appreciated by our community. Part of her ancestry was Japanese and she shared her appreciation of Japanese art and culture with us through classes in Ikebana and poetry. She was also extraordinarily resilient, crediting her contemplative practice for supporting her through many life challenges – including sitting through a week long meditation retreat in a Japanese monastery with a fractured wrist! Cathan’s practice was her true refuge through her life’s journey and she lived it authentically.

I’m so grateful to have been able to call Cathan my friend, though our time together was much too short. Shane emailed a video about Ikebana to Cathan and I the morning before we were notified of Cathan’s passing, neither of us knowing she was already gone. In it the teacher explains that Ikebana are unlike sculpture or paintings because they are impermanent, and though they are fleeting – maybe because they are fleeting – they leave a lasting impression. Please enjoy some photos, videos, podcasts, blog posts and audio recordings we’ve collected of Cathan over the years as well as some reflections from others upon whom she left a lasting impression. This is only part of her legacy and we look forward to learning more from the many others her life touched.

– Tracy

Guided Meditations & Blog Posts

Here is a list of recorded audio meditations and blog posts Cathan provided as a resource to our community over the years.

• 23-Minute Meeting Universal Needs Practice
• 25-Minute Sending Compassion to Others through Met Needs
• 25-Minute Appreciative Joy for Met Needs
• 25-Minute Equanimity for Met and Unmet Needs
• Patience Now, My Friends
• Embodiment of Gratitude
• Joy of Mindfulness Interview from May of 2022

She Made a Difference

Cathan and I were both students during MAM’s 2020 Mindfulness Teacher Training, and we quickly found out that we had similar passions in Japanese arts and culture, books and music, mindful movement, and being outdoors in the mountains.  We became friends and colleagues, and we combined our interests to teach the mindful movement weekend sections for the 2022 MAM MTT cohort, as well as a workshop on Japanese Wisdom for the New Year, and a book club on “Big Panda and Tiny Dragon” paired with “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse.”

I am honored and grateful to have known such a caring and compassionate spirit, and her loss is deeply felt by me and the many other lives she added joy to.

On New Year’s morning I sent her an email with a video link about ikebana, the art of Japanese minimalist floral arranging. It is an art form we both have a fondness for, and she taught a workshop on it through MAM. It was only about an hour after I sent her that video that I was informed of her passing. In a way I feel as if I was strongly sensing her presence that morning.

Below are two pages from the books that we did together in the workshop that offer me some reflections on Cathan. The first is from “Big Panda…”( the book she discussed) and the relevance I see in it and ikebana. The second is from “The Boy…” (the book I discussed) and how Cathan’s small stature could not contain her immense kindness and giving impact she made on so many lives. Cathan made a difference in the world.

– Shane

A Lasting Impression

I learned so much from Cathan through her teachings. The times we got together, she taught by example as she shared and struggled with her own personal life situations. Soooo much knowledge, curiosity, energy, and talent in one individual. She had a charming, wonderful laugh! I appreciated her authenticity and how she made me feel like I was my best self when I was with her. In Cathan’s presence I felt uplifted, joyful, heard, seen, nurtured, her friendship. A woman with a multitude of gifts. I will miss her.

– Ruth

The River Flows (a song for a friend)

by Cathan Aiko Kabrelian

Your eyes are sad,
Your heart must ache.
Likely, you feel all alone.
She no longer meets you
By the willow tree.
Wherever could she be?

The river flows,
And so can you.
Let sorrow carry you on.
Let go of the branches,
Brambles and sticks.
Lest they take you down.

The morning breaks,
But your eyes won’t open.
You can’t see the point.
Reasons for risin’,
You can find none.
Perhaps you feel done.

But the river flows,
And so can you.
Let sorrow carry you on;
Let sorrow carry you on. 

It’s easy to fall
Into despair.
Yet the river flows,
And so can you.